Sunday, November 1, 2009

Iron Cage

Curtains open to reveal a simple living room; a couch, coffee table, and back door. Next to the back door is a well decorated Christmas tree.

A woman in sweatpants and a t-shirt is reading a book by the single light of one lamp. The back door unlocks and opens as a young woman charges through the door, slamming it behind her. She’s breathing heavily and looks to be in obvious distress and tension. She wears tight dark jeans, black heels, thick white wool trench coat. Her hair is down, but her face is pinched and looks as though she’s about to cry.

The older woman is startled, jumping up as the younger girl’s face crumples into what looks like sobs.


COLLEEN(mother)

Evie? Evelyn? Evelyn what’s the matter!


(Evelyn slumps and sits on the couch, burying her face in her hands. Colleen removes her reading glasses and scoots closer to her.)


COLLEEN

Talk to me, baby, what happened?


EVELYN

(shaking her head)

J-just give me a minute, Mom.


(The two women sit in silence for a few minutes. Colleen rubs her daughter’s back as Evelyn catches her breath, wringing her hands together.)


EVELYN

(Taking a deep breath)

Alright. I’m O.K.


COLLEEN

(quietly)

Are you sure? Talk to me, darlin’, what happened?


EVELYN

(struggling)

It was just a lot... seeing him again. It was so hard to see him again...


COLLEEN

I know, baby, here, do you need a Kleenex?


(Evelyn shakes her head)


EVELYN

I’m not crying, I’m O.K.


COLLEEN

Alright. So how was it?


EVELYN

(slowly)

Well... long. Ugh it was weird. Like at the same time I wanted to get up and not even see him, I felt like I couldn’t leave.


COLLEEN

Completely normal, I wouldn’t have wanted to go through that either.


EVELYN

Yeah, but it had to be done. I’m O.K., just processing everything.


COLLEEN

I understand... Would you like some cider? I was about to get up and make some--


EVELYN

Can it wait? Well... I kind of do want some. But I really want to just talk about this.


COLLEEN

Of course, darlin’. O.K., so you got to Macaroni Grille, parked your car, got out, and then what happened?


EVELYN

(slowly)

Well... Josh was waiting inside, he’d already gotten a table. I didn’t see him at first, so I just went blindly around the restaurant. He tapped my shoulder from behind and it scared the shit out of me... So much so that I tripped on some lady’s purse and fell on to the floor.


COLLEEN

(chuckling)

You fell?! Oh darlin’, I’m so sorry... What did Josh do? Did he help you up?


EVELYN

(swallowing hard)

He tried to but I sure as hell wouldn’t let him, I got up by myself. I fell on my elbow though.


COLLEEN

Oh Evie, I’m so sorry. How hard did you fall on it?


EVELYN

(stretching her left arm and bending it)

Eh, not that hard. Ooh... it’s a little sore though.


COLLEEN

Are you O.K.?


EVELYN

Yeah I can move it, I’m alright. It was throbbing during dinner though.


COLLEEN

O.K. So you fell, got up...


EVELYN

Well that’s when I finally got a good look at him. He looks pretty much the same... He doesn’t have a beard, just scruff. And he’s obviously been working out. His stomach’s more muscular and trim now. Still only a little bit taller than me. Still ordering water with no ice.


COLLEEN

(laughing)

What was he wearing?


EVELYN

Oh he wore a white polo with navy sweater. I think it even had the little university mascot symbol on the left side. That with dark jeans and his stupid brown leather shoes. And an navy cap.


COLLEEN

Typical Josh, don’t you think?


(They laugh together)


EVELYN

Yeah no kidding. He took his cap off for dinner though... and he blessed the food.


COLLEEN

He did WHAT!?


(Evelyn cracks up)


EVELYN

It was hilarious. I almost snorted right into my pasta.


COLLEEN

Oh so you got pasta?


EVELYN

Yeah, it had scallops in it though. Not bad, just fishy. And garlic-y. But God, that was the strangest prayer I’ve ever heard. Josh, the saint who’s never even been to church before...


(Colleen laughs harder)


COLLEEN

What the heck did he say?


EVELYN

Something like, “Bless this food oh Father, our Father, and nourish us for the embodiment of good nature...”


COLLEEN

(laughing hard)

What the heck does that mean?


(Evelyn and Colleen laugh even harder than before)


EVELYN

(through her laughter)

I don’t have a damn clue! All I knew was that it was the most pathetic attempt to impress me that I’ve ever seen in my LIFE!


(Evelyn and Colleen are laughing so hard that they’re holding each other’s arms for support, still seated on the couch.)


COLLEEN

So what did ya’ll talk about?


EVELYN

Just small talk at first. I wasn’t nice though.


COLLEEN

Well as if he deserves it.


EVELYN

Yeah really. He actually didn’t really talk much. He just kept asking me questions. I’d never seen him so involved in a conversation in my life.


COLLEEN

Well it’s been what, five months since ya’ll stopped talking?


EVELYN

Yeah, that sounds right. Cause we stopped talking in September...


(Evelyn counts on her fingers)

September, October, November, December... Actually, it’s been only about four months. Crazy how time flies. It was so weird, cause it felt like there hadn’t been a gap between tonight and the last time I saw him.


COLLEEN

Oh back in August?


EVELYN

Yeah. He left for college in August. I found out what happened, and then we stopped talking in September... Worst two months of my life.


COLLEEN

Yes, I remember... What happened when ya’ll talked about that?


EVELYN

It was kind of scattered throughout dinner. He was really quiet at times, like all he wanted to do was just listen to me speak. I told him about all the activities I’ve been doing and working with the new church, and about the friends I’ve made and stuff... I didn’t talk about my dating life at all, and he asked, but I said it was off-limits.


COLLEEN

Good for you.


EVELYN

Yeah. And it wasn’t awkward or anything but there were so many pauses. Like heavy, dreary pauses that hold so much in one span of silence.


COLLEEN

Really?


EVELYN

There was one pause when we were eating and he looked up and was like, “Evie?” and I was like, “Yeah?” and he tried to reached for my hand. I yanked it away though, and he stuffed his hand back in his lap. He was like, “I’m sorry, that was entirely uncalled for. I just wanted to say that I’m really sorry I caused you so much pain.”


COLLEEN

Mm... Wow.


EVELYN

Yeah. I almost got sick.


COLLEEN

Oh darlin’...


EVELYN

(beginning to struggle with words)

I just couldn’t take it. He had no f***ing idea how much hardship and pain I’ve been through this semester. So instead of just accepting that apology... I went off on him.


COLLEEN

(confused)

What do you mean?


EVELYN

It made me angry... So I took the chance to say what I’ve been wanting to say ever since I signed him out of my life.


Colleen

What did you say?


EVELYN

I was like,

“You know, I know that you really mean that. I know that you’re sorry and I know that you’re doing everything you can to make this better. But there is nothing you can say or do that will change the fact that you cheated on me last summer. There’s nothing in the world that can take away the amount of heartache that you caused me, or the amount of guilt that you’re left with.”


COLLEEN

Oh good for you. What did he say to that?


EVELYN

That’s when it got worse... He was like, “I know that, Evie...” in his pathetic, tail-between-his-legs voice.


(Colleen laughs)


EVELYN

Yeah he was like, “I know that, but you’re the only person that I’ve ever truly loved in my entire life.”


COLLEEN

He SAID that?!


EVELYN

Yep. So I said, “That’s great, but you’re the only person I’ve ever truly hated.”


(Colleen cracks up)


COLLEEN

Evie!


EVELYN

(smugly)

It’s the truth. And I’m not taking that shit. If he loved me so much, he would have never slept with Jessica.


COLLEEN

That’s exactly right. I’m so proud of you, you handled this situation well.


EVELYN

Thanks, Mom. It was so hard though. I was afraid that I would crumble to pieces, cause I knew he would say stuff like that. But it’s like I had an iron cage around my heart. Something he would never penetrate again.


COLLEEN

That’s right, baby. I told you you’d be strong enough. You just have to believe it.


EVELYN

(trailing off)

Yeah... I’m just glad it’s over.


COLLEEN

How did ya’ll leave it? I mean, are ya'll going to keep talking or---


EVELYN

He knows I’ll be in town for another two weeks, through New Year’s. He’s got til the sixth, I think. I didn’t leave anything open for getting together again.


COLLEEN

Yeah. And it really can’t be any other way. You two need to move on with your lives, and in his case, figure out his life, you know?


EVELYN

Yeah.


COLLEEN

Alright it’s freezing in here... Let’s go fix that cider, get your mind off of this. Do you want to watch a movie or something? We have “A Christmas Carol”.


(Evelyn pauses, staring at the ground)


COLLEEN

Evie?


EVELYN

Oh, sorry, I heard you... yeah, I’d like some cider.


COLLEEN

Alright, come here you.


(Colleen wraps her arms around her daughter as they walk out of the room.)


COLLEEN

I’m so proud of you.


(CURTAIN CLOSES)


Wednesday, October 7, 2009

The Night I Let Go

“Psst Wendy... Wendy!”


I snarled at my binder and whipped my head around.


“What!”


Jon grinned.


“I LOVE it when you’re mad,” he whispered, handing me a folded piece of notebook paper.


I rolled my eyes, snatched the note, and turned around just in time for Professor Donovan to mumble,


“Wendy, if you would kindly pay attention and not flirt with boys, I would appreciate it.”


I squeezed my eyes shut as the heads in the lecture hall turned to check out this “Wendy” they’d probably never noticed in their lives. I heard some snickers and my stomach flipped over as I endured embarrassment.


“I’m sorry, Professor.”


I silently flipped Jon the bird behind my back.


He snorted obnoxiously and Donovan continued defining macromolecules and hydrolysis, oblivious to Jon’s entertainment.


I opened the note in my lap, angry at myself and Jon.


WENDY.

I think I love her. And I’m going to tell her. Today.

Sincerely,

Jon

P.S. Smoothies after Bio?


I rolled my eyes.


Jon and I had been best friends since fourth grade. We’re second-semester freshmen in college now. Back then he was a frizzy blonde haired kid who still wore light up sketchers and had a gap between his front teeth. I had been sitting on the swing set during recess, and the kid had come up to me giving me a really wide smile.


“Wanna kiss?”


My 9-year-old self was disgusted. I made a sound equivalent to throwing up.


“Yuck! What!”


Jon cracked up, throwing his head back and cackling.


“Nooooo silly! A chocolate kiss!”


He pulled the soft little Hershey pyramid out of his pocket. I was skeptical.


“Well, alright,” I had said.


My acceptance of the offering had made little fourth-grade Jon grin even more. He sat down on the swing next to me and for the next fifteen minutes of recess that day, we talked about how “Hey Arnold!” was our favorite show and how he had no idea how to do the book report on Because of Winn-Dixie and I’d already finished it. For the rest of fourth grade, we retreated to those swings to talk and laugh, and throughout the rest of grade school.


But in the past eight years that I’d known him, I’d never known him to actually be in love.

His frizzy blonde hair is cut and styled now, but his eyes are electric behind his thick rectangle glasses. And his teeth are square and straight now, no gaps, but he still throws his head back and gives a good laugh. And here in college, I have been formally introduced to the term “Anything can happen”.


However.


The term “in love” is not in my vocabulary. But I’ve had to mentally define it for myself in order to tolerate Jon in his fantasizing, love sick parade of being.


All I knew was that her name was Elaine. And on Tuesdays I would get weekly updates on his feelings for her. Usually in the form of disrupting note-passing in Biology 30218.

All our other conversations revolved around assignments and his humor versus my sensibility. “Love” made it’s first appearance this year.


“And that wraps up today, remember to put the lab sheets on the left table’s bin. See you all next Tuesday,” Professor Donovan concluded.


I snapped back to reality and groaned to myself, stuffing the note in my pocket.


Scholarship money and hard work for a class I didn’t pay attention in. All due to my very best annoying friend in the universe of macromolecules and hydrolysis. My GPA is riding on my level of patience and ability to focus.


“C’mon Wendy!” Jon called at the door of the classroom as everyone bustled about gathering their laptops and backpacks.


“I have Chem in ten minutes, Jon, remember?” I kept my voice monotone.


He smacked his forehead with his fist.

“Oh yeah, crap,” he said, “I’ll call you tonight with the details!”


He grinned at me and I sarcastically smiled back.


“Great!” I said and then groaned, “Uggggh, Jon, you can’t call me tonight, I have that paper to write!”


“Paper? What? Who cares?” He winked at me, laughing and heading out the door with the rest of everyone.


This is what I put up with.


Professor Donovan left, and I carefully organized my notebooks in the empty lecture hall, making sure that each handout was filed away before zipping up my backpack and heading out. Time and efficiency. Time and efficiency. Something Jon would never understand.


But he accepts me for it anyway. And I accept him. Through the silliness and everything else.



* * * * *


“So how’d you do it?” I’d asked, shrugging my shoulder up to my ear so I could manage to speak into the phone without losing place in my paper.


He sighed. You’d think he’d taken ecstasy or something. In a lot of ways he had.


“I just said it. And she looked at me and smiled...” He trailed off, another sigh.


It was incomprehensible, how someone could sail off with a feeling, without any other care in the world.


“Come on!” he shrieked suddenly, catching me off guard so that I smacked the keyboard.

“Let’s go run around the park! The moon’s lighting up the night, look at it! Right now!”

I glanced at the blinded window. The moonlight seeped in a little. I hadn’t realized how late it was. My paper stared at me, bored, and suggested I get some night air in my system before the long night ahead.


“Jon, c’mon. I have to finish this,” I said.


“No you don’t, you’re no fun. Get out of that prison cell dorm room and meet me by the lamp post. NOW!”

It was comical and we both knew it. He was laughing in spite of himself.


“Fine.”

I hung up the phone and stretched. Why be angry or frustrated. Why bother. This could be interesting.


So that’s how I got to be standing here at the base of the park hill, watching Jon dance and spin and sing to the night. He was like a fawn, one of those half human half goat deals from fairy tales or something. If he had a lyre and hairy hoofs for legs, well, he’d be just like the one from A Midsummer Night’s Dream. That character’s name started with a P... I couldn’t place the name.


“I’m singing in the rain...” Jon sang as he ran furiously, arms outstretched like the wings of an eagle.


I almost smiled, arms still folded. Oh! The fawn. His name was Puck.

Weird name. Like a hockey puck or something.


I was bored with my own recollection.


“Can we go now?” I called, “It’s late!”


“Never!” he said, “Never Wendy! Never never, neverland never!”

This time I laughed.


“My name does NOT make you Peter Pan, Jon,” I said, trying to swallow my chuckles.


“Oh yes it does!” he said, mounting the top of a jungle gym, “Think of the happiest thoughts! Dream the most beautiful dreams!”


He leapt and landed on his feet, running toward me.


I raised my eyebrows, and laughed.


He ran up close. He was an inch away from my face.

I could count the stubble hairs on his chin. His body heat from running around like a maniac was penetrating my face. And the magic in his eyes almost met mine.


“Come on Wendy. You need energy. And light.”


I looked away, down at my feet.


“Find it,” He whispered, “And... FREE IT!”

He yelled and I shot up a foot in the air.


“AHH!” I screamed, “YOU SCARED ME!”


He cackled and laughed and howled with delight.


“YES!” he said, “A reaction!”


I rolled my eyes, laughing and shaking from fright.


“So why didn’t you just bring little Elaine out here to witness your joy, huh?”


That stopped him.

He turned to me and raised an eyebrow, a smile flickering on his chiseled face. His wild hair.


“You caught on,” he said slyly.


I snorted.


“Caught on to what, pray tell.”


“You wanna know why?” he asked.


“Yes,” I said, impatient, “Cause I need to get back soon.”

He walked over to me, slowly, devilishly.


“Cause I said that I said the L-word, right?”


Confusion.


“Right,” I said, “To Elaine.”


“Half correct,” he said.


What?


“Huh?”


“Yes, I said the L-word. Yes I said it to Elaine,” he said.


“O.K...” I said. Something crept in my stomach. Like a caterpillar wriggling in it’s cocoon.


“But...” he said, dragging it out, “It wasn’t FOR Elaine.”


My jaw hung, parted.


“What?”


Jon was an inch away again.


“Well babe. I told her I loved you.”


Silence.


“Now will you forget about your paper and run with me?”